Drunk Dialing...
Alright so the best friend that I have mentioned before.. well he and the girl he is "in love" with- have broken up yet again.. I wish she would just leave him alone and let him move on.. So since they have broken up he and I are talking more regularly again and its been nice. Except for the fact that he's so down.. I wish I could be there for him.. We have not seen eachother in 5 years!
So the other night- he tells me that he will be in Dallas the 2nd weekend in November.. He wants me to come join him and some friends..That was so nice of him to ask but even if I could go- I wouldnt. How dumb is it that I dont want to see my best friend?? I dont want to see him till i lose some weight, till I feel pretty enough.. Even though I would rather have him as a best friend than anything else in the world- Why should I care what I look like?? Why does that matter?? I wonder what that says about me..What if that weight doesnt ever come off, and I never feel pretty enough.. So I just will never see him again??
Last night (Wednesday) or shall I say this morning at 3:30am I took some medicine and it knocked me out.. I had to be up at 7am and when I woke up- I was wide eyed!!! I had some really realistic dreams about sleeping with him!!! Now normally, I would give advice that sex does not have to mean you want to have sex with that person- but rather that you feel you have a strong emotional connection. But in this instance- I think I was dreaming about wanting to have sex with him.. It actually makes me laugh to type that..lol
What if Im single forever because I never took a chance on what could be?? What if HE is where Im supposed to be??
So he Drunk Dials me tonight and he is just hurting so bad..She has him questioning himself and his worth.. I hate her for that..He bothered to share his whole self with her, and gave her his love and she ran!!! Now he is in a place that he's never been before and I cant help him.. I hate myself for that.. If I would stop being selffish- I would have already been on a plane there for the weekend to help cheer him up!
Our situation reminds me so much of the movie" My Best Friends Wedding". When they are talking and he says that she's always been the woman in his life.. and then they slow dance to their song.. and he says when you love someone you say it, right then and there.. otherwise the moment just passes you by... Maybe Im just waiting for the moment to pass me by...
So the other night- he tells me that he will be in Dallas the 2nd weekend in November.. He wants me to come join him and some friends..That was so nice of him to ask but even if I could go- I wouldnt. How dumb is it that I dont want to see my best friend?? I dont want to see him till i lose some weight, till I feel pretty enough.. Even though I would rather have him as a best friend than anything else in the world- Why should I care what I look like?? Why does that matter?? I wonder what that says about me..What if that weight doesnt ever come off, and I never feel pretty enough.. So I just will never see him again??
Last night (Wednesday) or shall I say this morning at 3:30am I took some medicine and it knocked me out.. I had to be up at 7am and when I woke up- I was wide eyed!!! I had some really realistic dreams about sleeping with him!!! Now normally, I would give advice that sex does not have to mean you want to have sex with that person- but rather that you feel you have a strong emotional connection. But in this instance- I think I was dreaming about wanting to have sex with him.. It actually makes me laugh to type that..lol
What if Im single forever because I never took a chance on what could be?? What if HE is where Im supposed to be??
So he Drunk Dials me tonight and he is just hurting so bad..She has him questioning himself and his worth.. I hate her for that..He bothered to share his whole self with her, and gave her his love and she ran!!! Now he is in a place that he's never been before and I cant help him.. I hate myself for that.. If I would stop being selffish- I would have already been on a plane there for the weekend to help cheer him up!
Our situation reminds me so much of the movie" My Best Friends Wedding". When they are talking and he says that she's always been the woman in his life.. and then they slow dance to their song.. and he says when you love someone you say it, right then and there.. otherwise the moment just passes you by... Maybe Im just waiting for the moment to pass me by...
posted by princess1215 at 2:34 AM
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