Hello, I am an Email Addict..
So as I sat here at work tonight.. I began having a flood of thoughts running through my mind about him.. I couldnt even see straight cause I was analyzing things like crazy.. I know I shouldnt do that.. Nothing to really analyze yet! But its an old habit that I cant seem to quit.. I should have just started blogging all my thoughts but NO-- I decided to email him instead. Wanna hear what my crazy brain was thinking?? Yeah well here are a few parts of the email that I sent him tonight:
***I miss you.. I miss you alot! I wish we were in the same city and I could see you whenever I wanted.. I wish that I wasnt so excited about the thought of us working out though.. that is very scary to me! I wish I knew where I will be living and working and if you will be there with me...
This past weekend just gave me such a sense of comfort and a glimpse of a life with you that I would love to have.. I wouldnt care where we lived or what we did together-- I just would like to be together.. I hate that I cant just pick up the phone and call you whenever I want-- course we'd probably really be in trouble then cause I think about you alot during the day and want to share things with you.. like today.. but I couldnt resist calling to tell you about Brandy. That was big news!
I loved having you be the last thing I saw and felt before I closed my eyes at night and the first thing I saw when I woke up.. having your arms around me makes me feel like I dont have a care in the world.. This weekend, the way you took care of me, allowed me to just relax and not have to worry about anything.. no one has ever done that for me before and I appreciated it so much.. I think that if and when we do end up together in the same city... we will make eachother very happy and I cannot wait!! I hope that I can make you as happy as you have made me and give you the same sense of comfort and security...
OH and I have decided that after making that comment tonight on the phone with you- about us not working out-- that I dont want to talk about that with you anymore. I want to believe and trust that this is part of God's plan for me.. I think I deserve to be happy and You Make Me Happy and Always Have! So no more thinking too far ahead and doubting what could be.. Carpe diem!!***
Um, can you say nut case!!!! I cannot believe that I sent him an email saying all this stuff.. Then at 4:30am he calls me and I can hear him smiling through the phone! He said that he absolutely loved reading the email and that the things I said meant alot to him! He was so sweet about it, guess he didnt think I sounded so crazy. He said it reassures him and that I have nothing to worry about.. He even offered to be the one to tell my dad about us dating since Im a tad bit worried about it..lol
So I did get a call from my dad yesterday saying that they will be home next week! I am so excited! I havent seen them in a few months and it was only for a short time.. It will be so nice to see them and get to spend some time together.. I have told alot of people about "US" including my mom, but not my dad. The thing is, my dad and I are very close. My dad and I are the best of friends, yet he is my worst critic. He has not been real happy with my decision to apply outside of the city I live in, and has been quite accusatory about me wanting to apply where Jaime is living.. So Im nervous about telling him about us being together now.. I think it will make a big difference in the fact that Jaime is willing to move up here though to be with me.. I know my dad loves this guy, and I know that he has wanted us to get together for a long time. I realize it sounds like Im making a big deal out of nothing- its not like Jaime proposed or anything but.. if he were to move here, we would get a place together.. If I were to move there, we would get a place together.. its a big deal to me and I know it would be a big deal to my dad. So I gotta find a way to tell him next week and hopefully he will be happy for me. He is the one person in the world that can make me feel an inch tall and like I completely let him down... I hate it when he is upset with me for any reason- it just hurts.. So hopefully he will be excited for me and excited to welcome Jaime into our family. :-)
Jaime is still planning on coming to visit and if he can get a good deal on a flight for memorial weekend- then he would be getting to meet my parents! I wonder if they will make a big deal out of him sleeping with me?? :-) I know they trust me and my judgement but I just wonder if they will be retarded at first with this situation..lol
I told him tonight that I had a blog about him.. That I had started a year ago.. it wasnt supposed to be about him.. It was supposed to be about me and my new life of being single.. but turned out-- almost every blog is about him.. Guess he's been on my mind and in my heart for along time.. I think Im sleep deprived.. I shouldnt have told him about this, cause that means someday I will have to show him...Oops!
***I miss you.. I miss you alot! I wish we were in the same city and I could see you whenever I wanted.. I wish that I wasnt so excited about the thought of us working out though.. that is very scary to me! I wish I knew where I will be living and working and if you will be there with me...
This past weekend just gave me such a sense of comfort and a glimpse of a life with you that I would love to have.. I wouldnt care where we lived or what we did together-- I just would like to be together.. I hate that I cant just pick up the phone and call you whenever I want-- course we'd probably really be in trouble then cause I think about you alot during the day and want to share things with you.. like today.. but I couldnt resist calling to tell you about Brandy. That was big news!
I loved having you be the last thing I saw and felt before I closed my eyes at night and the first thing I saw when I woke up.. having your arms around me makes me feel like I dont have a care in the world.. This weekend, the way you took care of me, allowed me to just relax and not have to worry about anything.. no one has ever done that for me before and I appreciated it so much.. I think that if and when we do end up together in the same city... we will make eachother very happy and I cannot wait!! I hope that I can make you as happy as you have made me and give you the same sense of comfort and security...
OH and I have decided that after making that comment tonight on the phone with you- about us not working out-- that I dont want to talk about that with you anymore. I want to believe and trust that this is part of God's plan for me.. I think I deserve to be happy and You Make Me Happy and Always Have! So no more thinking too far ahead and doubting what could be.. Carpe diem!!***
Um, can you say nut case!!!! I cannot believe that I sent him an email saying all this stuff.. Then at 4:30am he calls me and I can hear him smiling through the phone! He said that he absolutely loved reading the email and that the things I said meant alot to him! He was so sweet about it, guess he didnt think I sounded so crazy. He said it reassures him and that I have nothing to worry about.. He even offered to be the one to tell my dad about us dating since Im a tad bit worried about it..lol
So I did get a call from my dad yesterday saying that they will be home next week! I am so excited! I havent seen them in a few months and it was only for a short time.. It will be so nice to see them and get to spend some time together.. I have told alot of people about "US" including my mom, but not my dad. The thing is, my dad and I are very close. My dad and I are the best of friends, yet he is my worst critic. He has not been real happy with my decision to apply outside of the city I live in, and has been quite accusatory about me wanting to apply where Jaime is living.. So Im nervous about telling him about us being together now.. I think it will make a big difference in the fact that Jaime is willing to move up here though to be with me.. I know my dad loves this guy, and I know that he has wanted us to get together for a long time. I realize it sounds like Im making a big deal out of nothing- its not like Jaime proposed or anything but.. if he were to move here, we would get a place together.. If I were to move there, we would get a place together.. its a big deal to me and I know it would be a big deal to my dad. So I gotta find a way to tell him next week and hopefully he will be happy for me. He is the one person in the world that can make me feel an inch tall and like I completely let him down... I hate it when he is upset with me for any reason- it just hurts.. So hopefully he will be excited for me and excited to welcome Jaime into our family. :-)
Jaime is still planning on coming to visit and if he can get a good deal on a flight for memorial weekend- then he would be getting to meet my parents! I wonder if they will make a big deal out of him sleeping with me?? :-) I know they trust me and my judgement but I just wonder if they will be retarded at first with this situation..lol
I told him tonight that I had a blog about him.. That I had started a year ago.. it wasnt supposed to be about him.. It was supposed to be about me and my new life of being single.. but turned out-- almost every blog is about him.. Guess he's been on my mind and in my heart for along time.. I think Im sleep deprived.. I shouldnt have told him about this, cause that means someday I will have to show him...Oops!
posted by princess1215 at 3:02 AM
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