Smashing Pumpkins...
Ever been right where you want to be and happy to be there.. Then you realize its that very place that you don't need to be and you cant get out there quick enough.. I was faced with that and wow did it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why is it that we can never truly see whats good for us?? I mean, we can look at friends and their situations and see whats wrong and how to fix it but cant seem to do the same for ourselves. I think we trick ourselves into thinking we are fine and in reality we still have a lot of work to do..
When I drove away from my house tonight- I noticed that the pumpkins I had carved for Halloween had been thrown in the street and smashed.. For one small second- I really felt like that.. I felt like something that others had put such hardwork in and then I let it all get smashed.. Then I got pissed cause its not even Halloween for goodness sake? At least wait till tomorrow night! Dammit, I worked hard on those and now hey are just smashed all over the street? And WHO DOES THAT?? Who comes up to your Front door, with you sitting at the kitchen table, and steals your pumpkins?? That put a very uneasy feeling inside me, kind of scary.. I realize in the big picture of this- its not a big deal and lots of kids do this- but to a young 20 something girl thats a bit scary to think that a person was outside the window right behind me!
So back to my crappy job of overanalyzing and symbolic rambling.. I feel like that pumpkin that has been smashed.. on the inside and outside..You grown, have a purpose, get picked- are loved and cherished and decorated- then thrown into the street with the on coming traffic to be smashed into pieces.. So then you get to start all over.. I think right now Im at the I know I have a purpose stage.. just waiting to get picked and to start again.. Happy Freaking Halloween Everyone! I hope your pumpkins made it farther than mine..
PS: I did talk to my best friend the other night and he was out and so was I. He said that he had been struggling all day long and had been really upset.. I told him that I wished I could be there with him and just give him a big hug and hold him.. I honestly wish that I could have been there with him than anywhere else in the world..
Why is it that we can never truly see whats good for us?? I mean, we can look at friends and their situations and see whats wrong and how to fix it but cant seem to do the same for ourselves. I think we trick ourselves into thinking we are fine and in reality we still have a lot of work to do..
When I drove away from my house tonight- I noticed that the pumpkins I had carved for Halloween had been thrown in the street and smashed.. For one small second- I really felt like that.. I felt like something that others had put such hardwork in and then I let it all get smashed.. Then I got pissed cause its not even Halloween for goodness sake? At least wait till tomorrow night! Dammit, I worked hard on those and now hey are just smashed all over the street? And WHO DOES THAT?? Who comes up to your Front door, with you sitting at the kitchen table, and steals your pumpkins?? That put a very uneasy feeling inside me, kind of scary.. I realize in the big picture of this- its not a big deal and lots of kids do this- but to a young 20 something girl thats a bit scary to think that a person was outside the window right behind me!
So back to my crappy job of overanalyzing and symbolic rambling.. I feel like that pumpkin that has been smashed.. on the inside and outside..You grown, have a purpose, get picked- are loved and cherished and decorated- then thrown into the street with the on coming traffic to be smashed into pieces.. So then you get to start all over.. I think right now Im at the I know I have a purpose stage.. just waiting to get picked and to start again.. Happy Freaking Halloween Everyone! I hope your pumpkins made it farther than mine..
PS: I did talk to my best friend the other night and he was out and so was I. He said that he had been struggling all day long and had been really upset.. I told him that I wished I could be there with him and just give him a big hug and hold him.. I honestly wish that I could have been there with him than anywhere else in the world..
posted by princess1215 at 12:36 AM
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