Uncertainty..
When I talked with him tonight on the phone.. there was hint of uncertainty in his voice.. I dont know that it has anything to do with US or if its just the fear of the job stuff or what??
But He said that he noticed in my blogs lately how stressed it seems that Im getting about things and wondered if this move if whats causing it.. I told him that NO it had nothing to do with the move and stuff.. If anything I am really looking forward to having him here with me to share in my experiences and to start our relationship together finally!! I am so ready for him to be here!!
It just all the school stuff that is getting to me and all the uncertainty about what the hell Im going to be doing this year.. I have this reoccuring dream about my first day of school and standing in front of my class and having NO IDEA what Iam doing!! Im just honestly really scared about this school, this grade, have no idea what to expect and what to buy.. what I need to be doing.. I feel like all this time in school has not prepared for me this.. I really thought that my "mentor" teachers would be more helpful than they have been and would have given me some guidance and shown me what I needed to do and help me out.. but they havent done anything.. They arent concerned at all and arent returning phone calls.. Thats whats freaking me out and has me stressed out badly! I only have 2 weeks to get all this shit done and have no idea where to even begin! Wish I had someone to give me some pointers and guide me a bit so that I would feel better about all this...
So I told him that and I think he felt better about it.. He told me that he is 100 % sure he wants to do this and just didnt want to be a reason that I would be stressing out.. Hell no!! I just want him here! Our relationship is so strong and I think that us being in the same place and being able to work together on everything thats going on in our lives with jobs and stuff will just help us get even closer and I see myself being disgustingly happy once he is here..
When Im with him, Its like I dont have a care in the world.. He really makes me feel safe and secure and I stress less about things cause the way he talks to me about it just helps me to realize it will get done and it will be great... I love him so much for that!!
So hopefully this "uncertainty" stuff will pass and he will get here and it will be wonderful.. thats what I am looking forward too anyways!
But He said that he noticed in my blogs lately how stressed it seems that Im getting about things and wondered if this move if whats causing it.. I told him that NO it had nothing to do with the move and stuff.. If anything I am really looking forward to having him here with me to share in my experiences and to start our relationship together finally!! I am so ready for him to be here!!
It just all the school stuff that is getting to me and all the uncertainty about what the hell Im going to be doing this year.. I have this reoccuring dream about my first day of school and standing in front of my class and having NO IDEA what Iam doing!! Im just honestly really scared about this school, this grade, have no idea what to expect and what to buy.. what I need to be doing.. I feel like all this time in school has not prepared for me this.. I really thought that my "mentor" teachers would be more helpful than they have been and would have given me some guidance and shown me what I needed to do and help me out.. but they havent done anything.. They arent concerned at all and arent returning phone calls.. Thats whats freaking me out and has me stressed out badly! I only have 2 weeks to get all this shit done and have no idea where to even begin! Wish I had someone to give me some pointers and guide me a bit so that I would feel better about all this...
So I told him that and I think he felt better about it.. He told me that he is 100 % sure he wants to do this and just didnt want to be a reason that I would be stressing out.. Hell no!! I just want him here! Our relationship is so strong and I think that us being in the same place and being able to work together on everything thats going on in our lives with jobs and stuff will just help us get even closer and I see myself being disgustingly happy once he is here..
When Im with him, Its like I dont have a care in the world.. He really makes me feel safe and secure and I stress less about things cause the way he talks to me about it just helps me to realize it will get done and it will be great... I love him so much for that!!
So hopefully this "uncertainty" stuff will pass and he will get here and it will be wonderful.. thats what I am looking forward too anyways!
posted by princess1215 at 2:44 AM
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