Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

Man, getting burned sure does cause us to react differently in life, doesnt it? I mean, to question what the person that you love is saying and question it out loud?? I realize that he is not the same person as my ex, that he would never do what my ex did to me.. I dont doubt that. But for some reason the words that sound questioning sure do slip out.. He's very reassuring though.. I think he understands why I ask those questions and react the way I do sometimes.. Its a scary thought to have this person that you love so much, they are what you want to spend the rest of your life with, and its hard to really know if that will happen.. I do trust that he is in Gods plan for me.. our whole relationship has been a blessing and God has allowed things to happen in HIS time for us.. So why am I questioning anything now?? This is the man that God has always put in front of me, why cant I just trust that...

We talked on the phone for along time tonight about lots of things.. it was a good conversation but I think at times, I may have had him worried about my feelings.. I dont mean to do that at all!! We talked about marriage for awhile and I cannot help but feeling like my life is off track.. When all your best friends from your childhood are all married and now 2 have kids.. I didnt see myself at the age of 26 not being married and well on my way to start a family.. Not how I saw my life at all. I am happy where Iam though.. I just have to try and hold back the feelings of rushing to get married, and start a family.. My clock is ticking so freaking loud though..lol I know that once he and I get settled here and our jobs are steady and we are comfortable... That things will progress.. patience has always been a fault of mine though.. and I had so much patience with the other one for almost 7 years just to get burned.. But everything in my heart and soul tell me this one will be different! He will be the ONE and when it happens someday it will be just the right time...