Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words.

He keeps on sending me these wonderful messages.. I read them and I can just feel my whole body's response.. Why cant I seem to express myself the same way?? How can he do this with such ease and no worries and Im scared to death to touch him??? I told him the other night that I am ready to be myself again.. Im ready to be that aggressive girl that goes after what she wants in her relationships, that is very affectionate, very expressive with her feelings.. I cannot seem to find that girl!!! He said that he would like to see her also.. I feel so horrible that I cannot be myself.. I wonder if, with all that happened in my last relationship, if that person is gone forever? Am I forever changed??

So here are 2 more messages that he sent to me.. Tell me that he isnt the most wonderful guy in the world??

how I feel for you

Sure Proof Norman MacCraig

I can nomore describe you than I can put a thing for the first time where it already is. If I could make a ladder of light or comb the hair of a dream girl with a real comb or pour a table into a jug..... I'm not good at impossible things. And that is why I'm sure I will love you for my ever.

MISS YOU!!! Love, Jaime

And then here is another one...

It all started here for us.

In May, the magic month of May, when all the buds were breaking, Oh then within my heart The fire of love awakened. In May, the magic month of May, When the birds were merry-making, Oh then I told my darling Of how my heart was aching.

Let me tell you why I love sending you these poems. It's because they helps explain how I feel for you and always have. The greatest part is knowing that they make you happy and put a smile on your beautiful face. You are a great Woman that deserves to be happy and I want to be that man. Miss You!!!
Love you, Jaime

So how in the hell do I respond to all of that?? What is the right way to let him know that I feel the same and cherish all that he does for me? I need to know!!

He called me tonight and asked for a friend of mines phone number.. He wanted to call her and ask her opinion about something.. about a surprise for me. All she will tell me is that I need to not be drinking this weekend while we are away for the weekend together..

Im thinking- I hate surprises! I mean, I dont hate them but I hate not having control, not knowing the plan, being prepared.. Im not used to this in relationships.. never had this before.. Im thinking I will need alcohol.. but she really thinks that would be a bad bad decision...

What in the hell could he have planned??? I just wanted a weekend to spend time together, lay down and take naps together, talk, stare at eachother, kiss and hold eachother.. Why do we have to do anything more than that??

I need to start thinking now of what I can do for his Birthday next month. I need to do something super special for him.. I need ideas!!!