If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?-Casper
I get home this morning and Im feeling a bit worried still about how things went last night... I did email him and told him how I was feeling and was hoping that he would call me tonight with some better news..
Surprise! He called me the moment I walked in the door.. I answered and he told me that he had talked to his dad this morning and that his parents had talked about it all last night and came to an understanding of where my parents were coming from and realized that it was probably taken out of context. blah blah. They are fine.. Things are going to be okay..
This is what he is telling me. My heart honestly feels so relieved to hear this but part of me is not believing the words coming out of his mouth.. It was forced or something- like when you are trying to help someone feel better about something thats not fixed?? Then he said that he did read my emails and hoped this all made me feel better.. BINGO!
I let it go.. I just was so glad to hear his voice and that he was okay with things.. We will somehow find a way to make it better eventually.. for now I was ready for bed- knowing that he wasnt upset anymore, I knew I could finally get some sleep.
This evening he calls me and says that he talked to his mom too and that she had told him the same things.. He told her how worried I was about it all.. And she said that I had nothing to worry about.. Things are fine.
Do I believe this? Did these conversations really happen?? Or is he just trying to calm me down?? I know he realizes how important this is to me, and it is to him as well... but I just want to know the truth.. not a 1/2 truth. So for now, Im just going to believe him, and move forward.
I told him that I had spoke to a friend today about the whole swim suit thing.. and that I needed to know if this would be in a public place.. He said YES. I said okay, well will it be with your friends? He said 2 of them. I expressed to him the level of stress that I would be feeling and that I would be extremely uncomfortable in that situation. I hoped that he would understand.
When we talked before I came into work- he said that he changed the plans around some. I would still need to bring a swim suit but that it wouldnt be the same circumstances.. NOW I FEEL BAD.. he was so excited before and here I go complaining and making him change his plans cause I have issues. What is wrong with me?? I mean really.. Shouldnt I just be happy that he loves me, treats me wonderful, thinks Im beautiful.. and just go and do what he had originally planned?? Stop bitching and just enjoy our time together?? I feel like a real pain in the ass.. sucks!!! So we will see what that weekend will hold for me.. Im hoping that we do have a great time doing whatever he has planned and that I wont have a bad attitude or a complex cause of how I look.. Just be happy and comfortable already!! Dammit!
He was saying the most beautiful and wonderful things to me on the phone tonight.. It always really catches me off guard though.. He was giving me a little crap about the whole... ME TOO response to his I Love You.. He said that he cant wait till I feel comfortable enough to say it.. He knows that I do, but wants to hear it.. Im such a chicken shit!! REALLY!!
I sure hope that I can somehow manage to chill out some.. stop with the putting my guard up constantly.. let him know how I feel.. and even let the poor guy get beyond rubbing my stomach already..lol
My new nickname is PRUDE!! Who'd have ever thought that?? I used to be the Samantha (Sex in the City) of my group of friends.. daring and dirty in the bedroom.. Always had a story to share.. and new ideas to contribute! These days, I barely let the guy hold my hand.. What is up with me?? Cause I know Im needing a BIT more....Hell ALOT MORE!!!
Surprise! He called me the moment I walked in the door.. I answered and he told me that he had talked to his dad this morning and that his parents had talked about it all last night and came to an understanding of where my parents were coming from and realized that it was probably taken out of context. blah blah. They are fine.. Things are going to be okay..
This is what he is telling me. My heart honestly feels so relieved to hear this but part of me is not believing the words coming out of his mouth.. It was forced or something- like when you are trying to help someone feel better about something thats not fixed?? Then he said that he did read my emails and hoped this all made me feel better.. BINGO!
I let it go.. I just was so glad to hear his voice and that he was okay with things.. We will somehow find a way to make it better eventually.. for now I was ready for bed- knowing that he wasnt upset anymore, I knew I could finally get some sleep.
This evening he calls me and says that he talked to his mom too and that she had told him the same things.. He told her how worried I was about it all.. And she said that I had nothing to worry about.. Things are fine.
Do I believe this? Did these conversations really happen?? Or is he just trying to calm me down?? I know he realizes how important this is to me, and it is to him as well... but I just want to know the truth.. not a 1/2 truth. So for now, Im just going to believe him, and move forward.
I told him that I had spoke to a friend today about the whole swim suit thing.. and that I needed to know if this would be in a public place.. He said YES. I said okay, well will it be with your friends? He said 2 of them. I expressed to him the level of stress that I would be feeling and that I would be extremely uncomfortable in that situation. I hoped that he would understand.
When we talked before I came into work- he said that he changed the plans around some. I would still need to bring a swim suit but that it wouldnt be the same circumstances.. NOW I FEEL BAD.. he was so excited before and here I go complaining and making him change his plans cause I have issues. What is wrong with me?? I mean really.. Shouldnt I just be happy that he loves me, treats me wonderful, thinks Im beautiful.. and just go and do what he had originally planned?? Stop bitching and just enjoy our time together?? I feel like a real pain in the ass.. sucks!!! So we will see what that weekend will hold for me.. Im hoping that we do have a great time doing whatever he has planned and that I wont have a bad attitude or a complex cause of how I look.. Just be happy and comfortable already!! Dammit!
He was saying the most beautiful and wonderful things to me on the phone tonight.. It always really catches me off guard though.. He was giving me a little crap about the whole... ME TOO response to his I Love You.. He said that he cant wait till I feel comfortable enough to say it.. He knows that I do, but wants to hear it.. Im such a chicken shit!! REALLY!!
I sure hope that I can somehow manage to chill out some.. stop with the putting my guard up constantly.. let him know how I feel.. and even let the poor guy get beyond rubbing my stomach already..lol
My new nickname is PRUDE!! Who'd have ever thought that?? I used to be the Samantha (Sex in the City) of my group of friends.. daring and dirty in the bedroom.. Always had a story to share.. and new ideas to contribute! These days, I barely let the guy hold my hand.. What is up with me?? Cause I know Im needing a BIT more....Hell ALOT MORE!!!
posted by princess1215 at 2:11 AM
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