Why the Silence?

So its been a stressful few days, and I just want to pick up the phone and talk to someone who cares.. I thought of my closest best friends (4 of them) and the more I thought, the more I realized it was no use to call them. They are all married and wrapped up in their husbands and work, and babies.. I get the typical
"You wouldn't understand" tone when they talk about what they are dealing with anymore.. I need to talk to someone and don't want the call to be one sided and their lives only.. Just because Im not married with kids- doesn't mean I don't have things going on in my life.. So I didn't call them.

Then I thought about calling my guy best friend- but when we spoke the last few times it has been pretty brief and full of silence. What does that mean?? Either we are just so busy and its not a good time to talk, or he's just taking the breakup so hard that he cant focus on anything else.. or we are losing touch with eachother?? OR maybe Im just over analyzing it.. So I didn't call him.

I have a few friends here that Im very close with and wanted to call them but they are busy and I don't want to interrupt. I really don't have much to say-- I just wanted to talk to someone.. I just wanted to feel valued and needed..

I almost started crying in the shower this morning thinking about how much I miss my parents.. They have been gone for 2 months now and somehow seems much longer. I think I have taken them for granted. Now I try to make all our phone conversations last as long as possible and hate to hang up. I am extremely close with my parents, they are my best friends.. But I wonder did I ever make them feel like I was too busy with school, work, friends, dating to listen to them??

I hope that I give the impression to people that I will listen and be there whenever they need me.. I don't want to be so wrapped up in my own world to not be able to stop and be there for others.. Yeah, I don't know where Im going with this whole blog now.. So Im going to go.. I wish more than anything that all the people I love and care about know that and if I could give each of them a big hug right now-- I would! :-)