Dream A Little Dream..

So I wake up this afternoon and am smiling.. I usually remember my dreams very vividly but not this time. I just know that it was a great dream and I am happy. How nice!

Then tonight when I got home from working out, I showered and took a quick nap before work tonight. I was so tired.. I honestly woke up in the same position I fell alseep in- that's how hard I was sleeping. I usually toss and turn a bunch. Didn't move this time. So once again Im smiling, but this time I remember my dream, sort of.

I went to visit HIM. In this dream I felt like I was perfect and the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. It was wonderful.

So here's my thought.. You know how sometimes people hide behind things. Like I have a friend that is gay but it was easier to not come out and say that- but to just act like he had crushes on girls.. Alot of people do this.. its safe. Like straight girls who fall for gay guys because they are safe and the girl misunderstands the friendship and thinks that she can make it work..

What if Im just living in this little dream that this whole best friend thing- will turn into something more.. and is something more? What if Im just focusing on it, so that I don't have to get back out there and try dating again.. and if I keep this relationship just the way it is now-- its still safe??

I honestly haven't felt as good as I did in that dream- since I was with my ex. I miss that feeling of being truly happy and feeling truly loved. Of seeing in that persons eyes how much they love you and how special that makes you feel. Gosh, I wish I hadn't had to wake up.. it was nice if only for a little while.

But maybe at some point we all have to WAKE UP! and start living.. I think I might press the snooze just a few more times though..(Smiling)..